Okay. (Natalie will appreciate this post.) There's an old man in our ward named Rulon. He's a funny old man. I want you to imagine how he talks. Act like someone just punched you in the stomach and you can hardly talk and it's really breathy. That's how he talks. It never fails that on fast Sunday, he bears his testimony (which is actually a great thing seeing that nobody in our ward wants to bear their testimony and we all sit in silence until the High Councilman Bro. Beck gets up.) Every Sunday, he usually tells one of 3 stories by either bearing his testimony or he speaks up in Sunday School or 5th Sunday meetings. Here are the 3 stories.
"When I was in the Navy, I was the only member of the church....."
"It always brings me comfort to know that the Prophet will never lead us astray. If that were ever to happen, the Lord would remove them."
"Back in 1939, it was the worst snow storm in Cedar Fort's history. I was prompted to go left instead of right, and I found my parents and another couple stranded on the side of the road. If I wouldn't have come, they would have froze to death because we didn't see another car for 3 hours."
One time, I attended a Relief Society/Elder's Quorum combined 5th Sunday lesson. It was about finances and mortgages and such. Somehow, the lesson evolved into tough-love for your kids (you need to keep in mind that 75% of my ward is 75 or older.) Basically they were saying that you need to teach your kids to work so that they can be self-reliant. It was then that Rulon told my favorite story of all time. I thought that it would be about one of the three stories listed above but this time, he told a different story that made me and everyone else go red. This was the "gist" of his story. (Keep in mind the voice.)
"When I was a young boy, I lived in Jackson Hole, WY. One time, a couple moved up from SLC because they were trying to get away from their son that was using them for money to pay for drugs. They thought that they could move away and he would get better. But the son followed them to Jackson Hole and he killed them. He murderded them by shooting them in the head." (you should have seen the Stake President's face at this point.) "Then he took their bodies and threw them in the garbage. Then someone came by and smelled them and looked in the garbage and found their ROTTEN DEAD BODIES."
Yeah........
My second favorite.....(remember the voice)
"They say that Jesus was circumscised. I never was myself.............."
WOW!!! Never a dull moment with Rulon in the ward.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Aren't they sweet??
This blog is dedicated to letting out my thoughts and ideas. Hopefully a giggle is let out too.
The McKinnon Family!
Geek Squad
About Me
My brood!
Aren't they sweet??
AnnaBelle
Desiree
Taten Cache
So happy together!
Blogs I Love!
My favorite Movies:
- Mean Girls
- Mulan
- Pride and Prejudice
- SATURDAY'S WARRIOR BABY!!!
- Sweet Home Alabama
- The Count of Monte Cristo
Favorite Quotes
"Little footprints in the hall, little handprints on the wall, these are the signs of a happy home."
10 comments:
I think it's safe to say the number one reason we moved out the ward was because of that man his stories. Okay, not really... but when we were called to teach Sunday school we were thrilled that we wouldn't have to listen to his stories anymore.
You teach that class now right? How do you handle/limit his comments in class?
Actually, he doesn't attend my class so I don't have to act like his comments have meaning. He's a funny old man.
Oh good. He's actually a cute little old man. He liked Davy because Davy served his mission in Puerto Rico and he was stationed there for a bit. Actually he got wounded in Puerto Rico or something. I heard that story probably 7 times, but I kind of tuned it out. Hehe.
LOL! That is sooooo funny, Sterling and I are both here laughing at this!! I might have to come to your ward just to hear some of the tales!! :)
The funny thing is that he is bad but there are a few others in the ward that are up there with him. They may not tell the same stories over and over, but they say some pretty crazy things. Our Relief Society President is the funniest! Instead of baby announcements, they announce funerals. Instead of a welcoming party, there's a funeral committee. Hearing about sickness or death in the ward is just part of the announcements. It's totally opposite of where we came from. The best part, nobody cares what you're doing in your life and nobody's in your business. It's refreshing.
I forgot one of my other favorite Rulon stories. One time, we were in Sunday School and he and his buddy (I can't remember his name but he's the one with really big ears. Actually, I think he died not too long ago. Sad.) Anyway, they were sitting in the front row listening to Bro. Steve Smith teach (at the time he was the Sunday School Pres. and he was subbing) and they couldn't understand him (Bro. Smith talks really fast.) They kept whispering (which is more like a yell at their age) that they couldn't understand him. At one point Rulon whispered (in a yell,) "I can't understand a damn word he's saying."
that is so funny! there always seems to be one person in every ward in the world like that, but this seems to take the cake, Shaun and i will have to come for a visit and go to church with you for a good laugh!
that is so funny. the whole time i was reading I was imagining the voice in my head. wow, what a character. We once had tihs guy on our ward, kinda similar to Rulon. He was a little "handicap" But every fast sunday he would get up and bear his testimony, but his stories were all very sincere.
That really makes going to church so much fun!! LOL! That would be weird also to hear only about funerals. Man, are you on a funeral committee?! :)
I provide rolls for the committee. It's pretty interesting, but it's great to see the ward pull together (about every other week.) We have the nursing home Greenwood Manor in our ward so that's why there are so many deaths. They are such great people!
Post a Comment